Heavenly Father, look down on us, your humble obedient tourist servants, who are doomed to travel this earth, taking photographs, mailing postcards, buying souvenirs and walking around in drip-dry underwear. 

We beseech you Lord, to see that our vessel is not attacked by pirates, our luggage is not lost and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Protect us from surly and unscrupulous taxi drivers and of course unlicensed English speaking guides.

Give us divine guidance in the selection of our cruise ships that we many find our reservation honoured, our cabins made up and hot water running from the tap and shower.

We pray that the telephones work and that the operators speak our tongue and that there is no mail waiting from our children which would force us to cancel the rest of our voyage.

Lead us Dear Lord to good, inexpensive restaurants where the food is superb, the waiters are friendly and the wine is included.

Give us the wisdom to tip mercifully in currrencies we do not understand.  Forgive us for under tipping out of ignorance and over tipping out of fear.  Make the natives love us for what we are and not for what we can contribute to their worldy goods.

Grant us the strength to visit the museums, the cathedrals, the palaces and the castles listed as "musts" and if per chance we skip a historic monument to take a nap after lunch, have mercy on us for our flesh is  weak.

FOR THE HUSBANDS: Dear God, keep our wives from shopping sprees and protect them from "bargains" they do not need or I hardly can afford.  Lead them not into temptation, for they know not what they do.

FOR THE WIVES:  Almighty Father, save our husbands from making fools of themselves in cafes and nightclubs, but do not forgive them their trespass, for they know exactly what they are doing.

When our voyage is over and we return to our loved ones, grant us the favour of finding someone who will look at our self made videos and listen to our stories so that our lives as tourists will not have been in vain.

Amen!